Sunday, October 5, 2008
...roll a new leaf over. --Counting Crows, "Omaha"
Autumn makes me thoughtful, always. What with Mabon and Rosh Hashana past, there's some setting down of thoughts that needs to happen before autumn wends too far along and moved past that liminal space -- after sandals and tshirts, but before sweaters and scarves. October especially is a thoughtsome, transformational month. When you can really feel the season changing, leaves shifting brighter, air cooling crisper. Lots of changes.
I got a cat for my birthday this year. It seemed the right time, and so I lit an orange candle, and put some energy out there, calling for a friend of the four-legged variety. Not neccessarily for a familiar, but the idea certainly presented itself. And perhaps ar some point Thomas will decide to be that, but right now he is an extremely energetic and intelligent 8-month-old fellow who is teaching me any number of things (besides how much of a sucker I am for a cute expression and a purr.) Responsibility, and what it means to have somebody who looks to you for his feeding and comfort and yes, entertainment. The importance of play. How good and important it is to take a break from stress and trouble.
These are important reminders for my life right now. With not enough work coming my way, and things not quite working out as well as I would have liked with this New York move, I've been feeling very lonely and isolated. My motivation comes and goes (often goes) and I've been having a hard time trying to keep from feeling put-upon or self-pitying. There's some changes I need to make. I need to get my ass in gear, ramp up the motivation and not let a shitty economy or daunting wall of City affect me. But hey, I've got a cat to keep me calm. And some days, that's really been something.
For the past couple years I've looked at the period from Mabon to New Year's Eve as a long space of changes, a planting ground for new resolutions. Starting with Mabon, a harvest of the past year, then on to the clarity of Rosh Hashana, and the close of the old year in Samhain, then start of the New Year on January 1st. What's better than three opportunities to start the year anew? Three opportunities to resolve, and reflect.
I spent Mabon this year peacefully, quietly. Lit a candle, made a nice dinner, played with the cat, and gave myself a break from everything for an evening, letting myself rest at equilibrium.
I went home for Rosh Hashana, and brought the challah. It's been five or so years since I was last home for the holiday, and so there was something Big Deal about it. Besides, I needed to get out of the city, if only for a night. Get out of the mire I'd been/am stuck in. Maybe get some perspective. While it was good to be with my family, and [unfinished]
Autumn makes me thoughtful, always. What with Mabon and Rosh Hashana past, there's some setting down of thoughts that needs to happen before autumn wends too far along and moved past that liminal space -- after sandals and tshirts, but before sweaters and scarves. October especially is a thoughtsome, transformational month. When you can really feel the season changing, leaves shifting brighter, air cooling crisper. Lots of changes.
I got a cat for my birthday this year. It seemed the right time, and so I lit an orange candle, and put some energy out there, calling for a friend of the four-legged variety. Not neccessarily for a familiar, but the idea certainly presented itself. And perhaps ar some point Thomas will decide to be that, but right now he is an extremely energetic and intelligent 8-month-old fellow who is teaching me any number of things (besides how much of a sucker I am for a cute expression and a purr.) Responsibility, and what it means to have somebody who looks to you for his feeding and comfort and yes, entertainment. The importance of play. How good and important it is to take a break from stress and trouble.
These are important reminders for my life right now. With not enough work coming my way, and things not quite working out as well as I would have liked with this New York move, I've been feeling very lonely and isolated. My motivation comes and goes (often goes) and I've been having a hard time trying to keep from feeling put-upon or self-pitying. There's some changes I need to make. I need to get my ass in gear, ramp up the motivation and not let a shitty economy or daunting wall of City affect me. But hey, I've got a cat to keep me calm. And some days, that's really been something.
For the past couple years I've looked at the period from Mabon to New Year's Eve as a long space of changes, a planting ground for new resolutions. Starting with Mabon, a harvest of the past year, then on to the clarity of Rosh Hashana, and the close of the old year in Samhain, then start of the New Year on January 1st. What's better than three opportunities to start the year anew? Three opportunities to resolve, and reflect.
I spent Mabon this year peacefully, quietly. Lit a candle, made a nice dinner, played with the cat, and gave myself a break from everything for an evening, letting myself rest at equilibrium.
I went home for Rosh Hashana, and brought the challah. It's been five or so years since I was last home for the holiday, and so there was something Big Deal about it. Besides, I needed to get out of the city, if only for a night. Get out of the mire I'd been/am stuck in. Maybe get some perspective. While it was good to be with my family, and [unfinished]